The Netballer
Have been On earth Since 30041991
And Lives On earth. wee~
Started my early education @ AMP.
then spent 11 years of my life at
MADRASAH AL-IRSYAD AL-ISLAMIAH.
currently at REPUBLIC POLYTECHNIC.
Hopefully will be taking DEGREE in a year's
time INSYALLAH.
Me AmoRe’...
TOMATO=) and KUZZIE=]
the 2 bdk belos xD
Netbolalers! BODEX!
not 4getting my bed. lappy and baby hunney n jr!
CraZY over sports.
NETBALL FREAK. woooo~
an ANIMAL LOVER! animal abusers STAY AWAY!!
I live my own life.
LIVE IT. LOVE IT. DEAL WITH IT.
P&T is LOVED. PeaCe=]
I pen down everything & anything that comes to mind
I put language to actions happening before my eyes.
Ignorance is the best medicine if you are full of abhorrence.
Don't like what i wrote? Don't read lorrr. simple as that=].
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
dear you, i knw you are never gona read this. bt i need to clear my head. why must it be this way? you n me. we had so many memories tgt. so many good times. unfortunately, much more bad times too. bt it didnt have to end up this way. all i ask is for you to be a like a sister to me. bt no.
u hurt me so much. ur making me so confused. im losing my mind. have you been lying abt me? abt my family? please tell me the truth. your mind games are torturing me. wat did you tell ur fren abt me? abt my kuz? wat? my kuz is the most trustworthy person in the whole world. and your fren sed...'sometimes we cnt trust someone fully w/o hearing the other prsn's story. eventho tt prsn is ur own flesh n blood.' wat r u trying to sae?? tt my kuz lied to me?? not likely. she has been taking care of me since b4 u even became my fren. hw could you sae such thgs. i would choose her over you anyday.
y must you hurt so many ppl? y? evryone tt i made frens with. you chase them away. you made me ur one n only. am i not allowed to have frens? y must i keep crying fr u? y must i olwaes be the one who tink n take care of your feelings. your well being. y? i did not 4get the times wen u took care of me wen i was sick n ol. i rmmbred. bt the hurt i feel is more then the good times. i am so confused. so upset. so hurt. am i not allowed to love? to have someone to call my own? y must u confine me in this prison of urs. even wen u are far away. y are you still torturing me in my head? in my heart? y?? y are these tears of pain still linger in my sleep? in my thots.
i wana break free. i cnt lie to you. i miz u. all these while. i care fr u. n i still do. bt i just cnt figure out y u cnt just b a sister to me. y must u make it complicated? y must u take away evrythg frm me? y must u hurt all those arnd me? isit not enuf u hold me as ur prisoner fr so long? i am tired. tired of tinking. tired of crying. tired of being confused. u play with my trust. evrythg contradicts. wat u sae contradicts to wat i saw. i was so stressed to a pt tt i questn myself. am i crazy? u made me this way. yes. you.
i left you. for so many reasons u dun knw. fr so many reasons u wun understand. its the best way. its the only way i could protect u. and those tt i love. the only way i can make you realise tt i am not the only one. there are others out ther. once again, i play the role as the bad person. to ur eyes im olwaes the bad one ryt? i did it. coz i care. i am merely human afterall. hate me all u want. lie abt me. abt my family. bt get this. not once i lied abt u. not once i mistreat ur family. not once i made them look bad. not once i hurt u intentionally. not once i played with ur head or made u my slave. not once. i olwaes gave in to u. watever tt i want, tt i love. i put them away just to make u happy. bt no more of tt. this is me. the me u thot u knew wasnt me. it was the nisa u wanted me to be. bt nomore pretending. this is me. if u dun like it. then u lost me. do not xpect me to come bc to you. coz it ll only be the same thg again. if u reali do care, then this time YOU come to me. im tired of being ur dog. u made me this way. u took evrythg away frm me. you.
*dek. im so sorry. thers so much to explain to u. bt so little time. i ll find time fr u k? n i ll tell u evrythg.PEACE
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playing at 11:38 PM
